I enjoyed the story completely, though I have to say that I got quite confused with the speaking of words and wondering who was saying them. I think it's mostly as another character says something but the action is aimed at another I find a little confusing. But I suppose that could be me.

Your lay out on your story is as usual the best, it sometimes reminds me of the actions and speeches of Terry Pratchet's Discworld books. Though this particular piece of yours without the comedy added. lol

I find it awfully sad at the fact that you're the main character on the brink of death and yet everyone seems to feel the same towards it...You can't die. You couldn't possibly die being the main character, and yet people still worry and wonder from the sheer emotions put into it.